Journal

Welcome to my journal! This is where I put site updates, as well as general musings about making things and a bit of my personal life!

This is actually the second incarnation of the journal(Which is why it's called Page2 instead of journal, the original one was the 2nd page I built and it was already linked everywhere)

If you want to see that you can go Here

Page code credit to EGGRAMEN

Journal 52 September 27 2022 11:00

So, I haven't been able to work on my site too much, since my laptop's cord has become persnickety and it's pretty expensive to replace. I've got a setup that seems to be working for now, but I'm not sure how long it'll last.

Journal 51 July 8 9:40 PM

I found an old Swat Kats fanpage on Wayback Machine, and if that't not one of the most nostalgic things I could have possibly found! Gosh, I loved that show, I don't even remember how I watched it, I don't think it was new when I watched it, maybe re-runs on Cartoon Network or something? Boomerang maybe? Man, who knows. In hindsight, it probably wasn't THAT good a show, but MAN I loved it.

I also wanted T-bone and Razor to kiss, but that's neither here nor there.

I found the site through a Gif for a fan listing, here's the Gif for posterity, as well as a link to the archived site(It's a little broken though, be careful I think it's the index page that's messed up, so try to avoid it)

Journal 50 July 8 8:46 AM

Note to self: If you don't put things into a p tag it won't work how you expect it to

Journal 49 July 7 2022 11:15 PM

I fixed a few broken links, as well as worked on my Adhd/Autism pages. Also added some more Special Interests and Favorite fan content

There was something else I wanted to put here, but I've forgotten what that was so. . .

Journal 48 May 3 1:30 AM

I've been rewatching Wander Over Yonder lately, and I've been thinking a lot about Wander and how he acts, especially around the villains of the series

Like, he's a weird case as far as protagonists go, you know? Like on the one hand, he's ABSOLUTELY playing up certain traits to them for whatever reason(Major Threat may have been right, but who knows), but he's also COMPLETELY genuine in his affections and interactions towards them.

It's just such a novel concept, a hero who tends to play their counterparts like a fiddle Bugs Bunny style, but who also CARES about them, completely, genuinely, and truthfully to a fault, considering how dangerous it could be.

In a more gritty show this would backfire horribly, but here it just WORKS, it worked on Major Threat, it worked on Sylvia, it's working on Hater, heck, by the end of the series it seems to even be starting to work on Dominator. I could probably go on, but that wasn't the point of this, I've gotten off topic

The POINT is, he is both playing a part(annoying do-gooder foiling plans) and completely GENUINE and upfront about wanting to be friends with these people! It's just-it's so good! I've never really seen anything like it, you know?

It's just. . .really good. I just REALLY wanted to talk about it.

Also, while I was writing this I realized you could definitely connect this whole thing to ADHD/Autism masking, like, yeah we're kinda putting on a show, we're 'acting' to an extent in our interactions and reactions, but it generally comes from a place of goodwill and affection. We're not 'faking' to trick people, but from a need for connections, or, at the very least, from the need to not be ostracized.

I think masking, as harmful as it can be, especially when done in excess (as it usually is),partially comes from the need to be understood, and if that's not the most cliche thing I've ever written I'll eat my hat, but you know, everyone wants to be understood all that jazz, you've heard this whole speil before I don't need to repeat it, the POINT is! It's not malicious! Some people seem to think it is. It's not 'faking' to choose facial expressions to reflect what's happening, or to have scripts for every possible situation, it's COMMUNICATION, a desperate bid to a world that doesn't understand us naturally.

We're playing it up, but the feeling behind it is genuine, now isn't it?

Journal 47 April 25 5:30 PM

You know, it's kinda weird to really want friends, while also being aware that you're not ready for that kind of commitment, and it IS a commitment, especially when you becaome an adult. I just-I know I won't have the energy to put the time in to make friends. And it's SUCH a weird sensation because I WANT them, you know? Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be ready or if it's one of those things you have to force yourself to do at first to get any payoff.

*sigh* It's a conundrum for sure. Especially since putting a lot of time into anything consistently is hard enough without being anxious about the thing I'm doing in the first place.

I guess I'll just continue as is for now, making a site and yelling into the void until I get up the confidence and energy to initiate contact with someone else.

Journal 46 April 20 1:30 PM

I'm thinking aboout finding some way to edit my site off of Neocities, so that I can have bigger updates less often instead of tiny updates all the time. I'm not sure about it though, we'll see how hard it is to do.

Journal 45 April 19 9:30 AM

You know it's funny (not ha-ha funny, the other kind) how people who can function with Adhd don't get diagnosed. Like my dad, he's always been very good at his job(he sells pest-control) and so no one even questioned why he drank a gazillion Mountian Dews a day, or could never remember to pick up dishes or clean things. It's like, he's a very intelligent man! But he never really thought that about himself because he didn't do good in school and the older I've gotten the more I've realized that it's because he had adhd! I think I was going somewhere with this, I don't remember where though. . .There was something about my mom doing good in school and ALSO not seeing herself as particularly intelligent.

The point is! I don't know! Something about imposter syndrome and my parents(both of them!) and how it can exsist whether or not you do good in school! My mind jumped between points too fast to actually write them down and I lost them! Which is. A bit annoying. This always happens when I wanna write something important.

9:50 AM

You know, not to be sterotypical, but trains are SO COOL GOSH

I wanna ride a train so bad, and not one of those dinky little zoo trains, I wanna ride an actual passenger train! I want it to take me somewhere and then ride back! I wanna hear it go cu-clunk cu-clunk!

*sigh* There are no real trains around where I live, not even subways

Journal 44 April 18 7:30 PM

Alright after 4 episodes my worries have been banished, but my attention meds have worn off. -_-; Which means I can't watch a tv show any longer, so I'm gonna try and find some old fanfics instead, and just hope I don't spoil myself on something big!

And, let's be honest, even if I do, spoilers have never stopped me before! (And, in fact, have even encouraged me)

Journal 43 April 18 4:50 PM

So you know one show I never expected to get a second season? Tiger & Bunny.

You know what show got a second season!?

I found out while browsing Netflix the other day, and have spent the last couple days rewatching the first season. I have ALL THE HYPE NOW

Now excuse my stream of consciousness thoughts, cause I have (probably unfounded) worries and I feel like blabbing them here

It does however, present a dilemma. I want to come to my own conclusions about whether I like the season or not. But there are ALSO things that I'd rather know beforehand to prepare myself for. Mostly writing stuff I'm afraid of, stuff with Blue Rose being my biggest fear(she's such a good character please anime DON'T DO THE THING)

Like her whole crush thing. It worries me. It's great as is! Like at the end of the first season it feels like a character trait instead of "this is where the series is going" Like we as viewers know that the like, 30 year old isn't gonna fall for the teenager so it feels like a way to develop her character cause she's gonna have to deal with that somehow eventually! And it was great and I was excited to see how she'd handle it!

But then I remembered that this was an anime, AND a superhero story, both of which are sometimes bad about stuff like that.(The opposite is ALSO true, both being GOOD about things like that, hence my dilemma)

Yeah so, that's my biggest worry, I have a few other ones(mostly to due with Tiger and Barnaby's dynamic and "what if they go back to hating each other just cause???"

but I've decided to not look up spoilers, despite my fears(anxieties? reservations?) Because if they(the writers) do something I DO like, I want to see it for myself!

so wish me luck! And pray that the writers are still good at writing the characters

Journal 42 April 17 2022 11:00 AM

Hehe, Happy 42nd journal entry! Finally, THIS is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. You found it! Also happy Easter, for those celebrating(It's me)

So I found this cursor shaped like a bloody knife, and it starts chopping whenever I hover over a link, so sometimes I like to just sit there and watch it chop the words for awhile, like "hehehe Chop Chop Chop!" I've also got mouse trail on, so it wiggles too.

So as it turns out, the answer to life is funny cursors, who knew? ;p

Journal 41 April 12 3:40 PM

Me making a Shadow fanpage, innocent.

My brain: Talk about Sonadow

Me: Huh?

My brain: You must!

Me: Well, alright then.

Journal 40 April 13 2022 10:40 AM

Noooooo, my power went out. How am I supposed to edit my site now. Ok I'm using my phone to do this, but I can't really do many big changes from there, mostly because it's too hard to find the right tabs(I open SO MANY TABS when editing)

In other news, happy Homestuck and Neil banging out the tunes day

Journal 39 April 11 2022 4:50 PM

Tornado watch tonight, so that's fun /sarcasm

I wanna make a J&D fan page so bad! But I don't have anything to put on it. I want old badges and GiFs! I'm sure at least a FEW of them were made and are still around, GifCities isn't bringing up anything, but it's search function is pretty hit and miss, you know? Deviantart probably has some stuff like that, I don't like searching DA, it's annoying. ;-_- and actually finding stuff that you can use feels like it might be difficult. It might at least give me some ideas to make my own. Hmm. . .I wanna make a Jaxter badge.

Well, there's nothing to it but to try I guess!

5:10 PM

I'm gonna try to make a badge with images instead of making pixel art. As soon as GiMP finishes updating. . .

Journal 38 April 10 9:20 PM

I guess it's about time to go looking for dead ends, make sure all the pages I've made so far are linked properly, wish me luck! it will be tedious.

Journal 37 April 9 9:00 PM

You know, I don't see many badges that are pixel art(old ones at least), it mostly photos and like, edited screenshots of tv shows and stuff, I wonder if that's just a coincidence or if it was just a lot harder to make pixel art. Maybe both, now that I'm thinking about it.

Journal 36 April 9 11:40 AM

I don't WANT to eat lunch I want to work on my site dangit

I'm GONNA eat lunch cause with my meds I know I'll never actually get hungry, but dangit I was in the hyperfocus zone, my dog snapped me out of it cause she wanted out and now I'm aware of the time and thus, am obligated to eat.

Journal 35 April 9 10:00 AM

Animating is hard -_-; I decided to make a Jak and Daxter button and was like, "I'll draw a little Precursor orb and have it rotate around!"

You cannot make something rotate in 2 frames. Which is what my other badges have been(is there actually a difference between badges and buttons? Cause I keep calling them buttons on accident. . .)

So it's taking awhile. I really like making them though.

Journal 34 April 8 7:50 PM

I just finished redoing all my scanned pictures, so they're all JPGs and 1Mb or under now! Hehe, my file usage went from like, 130Mb to 30, so yeah it was using too much space, especially since you can't even really tell the difference in most of the pictures.

Journal 33 April 8 3:40

I'm starting to make badges! They're really fun, I made a site badge with the art program I already have on my phone(Medibang paint, not really good for pixel art) but liked it so much that I decided to get an actual pixel art app to make them!

Here's the second one I made(I wanted to see how it looked anyway)

I might make a page for them eventually, I also now know that I need to edit that one to have lighter text on the Sonic part

Journal 32 April 8 2022 4:50 AM

I CAN CHANGE THE TEXT SIZE IN THE HTML EDITOR???? WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS SOONER ;-;

So I accidentally pressed Ctrl and the < button and it brought up a menu with a bunch of different options, (most of which I don't understand yet) but one of them was! Text size!

My eyes are going to enjoy this very much

It looks like it doesn't save the text size when you close the editor, but this will still be helpful if I'm doing a lot of coding on one page

In other news, I think I've put a credit on the pages I used the layout maker to create! So that's another task on my to-do list done!

Journal 31 April 7 5:30 PM

I'm gonna have to resize all my scanned images, i THOUGHT i found an easy way to do it, but they're still pretty big, what a pain. Aw well, for now they'll just be re-sized by the browser instead.

Journal 30 April 7 4:40 PM

You know, it occurs to me that most people probably create a page and finish it and then create another page. I can't seem to help myself from creating several pages at once, or creating pages that need to be linked to through another page.

Although, considering the amount of people who create sites on the internet, I suposse "most" isn't exactly the most apt descriptor. . . Hmm. I feel like I was going somewhere with this, but I can't remember where. Sometimes I get a sentence in my head that I want to write down since it sounds nice, but it doesn't really go anywhere.

I still think it's worth it to write them down though.

Journal 29 April 7 2022 1:10 PM

I made a page divider! It's made out of the loading ring sprites from SA2, which I got here

Sonic ring page divider

Cool, huh? I'm sure that something like it's been make MANY times before, but I wanted to try making one for myself. Consensus is: Putting GiFs next to each other is harder than you think it should be.

Journal 28 April 7 2022 10:00 AM

Figuring out what to do while things scan is difficult, it doesn't take so long that you can do something big, but it's not really short enough to just sit there and wait for it either.

I don't think I'll add GiFs to all the tabs, just images on some of them. I think each mini site will have it's own picture, except any GiF pages I make, those will have a GiF from the page instead.

Journal 27 April 7 2022 9:30 AM

Note: Put the year on these u keep forgetting that

Note: Put credit on bottom bar where you've used SadGrl's layout

Why must it be so hard to scan things? I usually work on my laptop, which is very convient, but the scanner is in the office. The office which has the most uncomfortable computer chair to ever grace this earth. I'm sure it USED to be comfortable, and it was free so I can't complain too much, but it's old and there's zero cushioning left in it. So scanning anything is a pain.

I'll admit, this journal is mostly so I can motivate myself to get up and go to the office, I have a lot of drawings I want to share, but I have to scan and edit them first, luckily I can edit them from my usual place after they're scanned.

9:50 AM I am now wearing fingerless gloves ^-^ I am the Haxzoor

Journal 26 April 5 12:30 PM

I've figured out how to put an image on the tabs it's over for all of you! MWHAHAHAHA! My complete mastery of HTML continues! /joke

But yeah, this is great, you can put GiFs up there too! Why does no one use GiFs I wonder? Probably something to do with page loading.

Journal 25 April 5 12:00 PM

CSS continues to be difficult. I'm trying to add a side bar to my code, which is easy enough, but it looks bad with smaller screen sizes, so I wanna make it change to either a top bar or a bottom bar when under a certain size. Which ALSO seems easy enough, in theory. It is not easy. I might have to completly re-do my theme to get it working, since I think the problem is how I've structured it, as opposed to anything I'm doing wrong.

I might try putting the links in a p tag, see if that helps somehow. My Oatmeal page moves the bars when the size is changed, but that was never really an actual sidebar in the first place, just a vertical box.

Journal 24 April 4 8:30 PM

(wait is it seriously already 8 o clock?) So I think I've made an epiphany about myself. An epiphany that's a bit of a problem since I want to encourage creators

My natural way of praising something I like is to show it to someone in some way and then letting the thing do the rest, whether it's actually telling someone(a difficulty since I've become an adult) or writing a thing on my blog/site(Something that. . .doesn't really get too much traffic yet.)

I think it's because I have so much trouble finding my own words for things as opposed to using other people's

Whelp. There's nothing to it I guess.

I'm gonna have to teach myself how to give praise! And unfortuanatly the only way to do that is with practice. Wish me luck! I'm gonna go post reviews on a few of my favorite fics.

Journal 23 April 4 2:15 PM

Whoo! I think I've finally finished making Invader Zim pages(Except for one fanfiction page)! There's not much on all of them, but that's fine, cause they're made! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm so tired.

Journal 22 April 4 2:00 PM

HOLY crap why is that picture so big! I thought I made it smaller, uuugh. I'm gonna have to re-upload it later.

Note to self: Re-edit scanned pictures to be smaller file size and actual size

Journal 21 April 4 1:00AM

Me: Ok! Now that I have a plan of action for this site I just need to finish X pages, then I can take the site out of construction!

Me: *Thinks up another page to make*

Me: frICK!

I have so many page ideas help, I already scrapped my Dragon Hunters fan page for the time being, since I didn't have any content for it anyway, but there's still so much more.

I'm basically making several mini sites with everything I like instead of making one site

The wierd thing is, I don't really want to make more than one site, I like the idea of these little mini-sites for all my stuff and interests

Journal 20 April 4 12:40 AM

Yep! Purple was the way to go, it even still fits with the background image.

Although I do have a Gif I could try. . .

Nope. Not chill enough. Journals have to be chill

Everytime I close out of the CSS code for this page it erases on the editor and I'm not sure why. It's not that big a deal since it's just in the editor and I can copy and paste from the view button if I need to edit it, but it is weird.

Journal 19 April 4 12:30 AM

New journal page! This was definitly a good idea! ^-^ I've been wanting to use this theme since I found it! I love the glow, and the fact that it was already blue was a bonus. Although I might change it to purple, see what that looks like.

Why must I make content? Why can't I just make pages that are just to showcase different CSS that I've found with slight color and picture variations?