Convention

"Oh, come on! it's not that hard to believe!"

Zim frowned, watching the Dib-stink trying to convince the other worm babies about some sort of bigfeets or another, he wondered why he still tried so hard.

He, of course, understood when it came to him, he was, after all, a threat to the humans. He only wondered why the Dib beast tried so hard to convince everyone about all the other things he believed. Wouldn't it be easier for the Dib to pretend to be just like all the other humans on this planet?

Him being who he was, Zim didn't wonder very long and marched over to the despondent boy, who was now sitting on the side of the sidewalk, seemingly not even paying attention to the alien coming up to him.

Well, that would not do. He was ZIM! He was the Dib worm's greatest enemy! The big-headed child was not allowed to let others' words affect him. Only Zim's! "Dib stink! What is making your idiot hyuman face even more idiotic than usual!" Zim growled. "TELL ZIM! Tell Zim now!"

Dib jumped, apparently he hadn't heard the great Zim approaching; yes, there was definitely something wrong with the pig smelly, "W-what?"

"You heard me Dib Stink! Now speak! Before Zim destroys your pitiful human face for annoying me!"

Dib snorted, "You could try," he mumbled, out of habit more than anything else, it seemed. He sighed. "It's not important. Not to you anyway, you know for once I'm not really in the mood for a fight, so why don't you just come back later."

Zim hissed. Impudent worm child! "Then Zim will guess. You are upset, for some reason, because the other worm babies didn't believe you about your Bigfeets again. Even though they have never once believed you before and are far too stoopid to do anything about it if they suddenly did believe you." Zim sniffed, really it wasn't that hard to figure out. What was hard to figure out was why the big-headed boy kept trying to save these pitiful idiots.

Dib glared at him, "Thanks, Zim, that makes me feel so much better. Oddly enough, that wasn't even what was upsetting me this time, so now I feel worse, thanks."

Zim growled. "Then what could you possibly be so upset about Dib-human!?"

Dib made a sort of growly, pained, arhg noise in the back of his throat and stood eye to eye with the invader, "Because, in case you haven't noticed, I am the only one in this stupid place without any friends!" Zim meeped and backed up a step, only to have Dib invade his personal space again. "Gosh! I mean really! Even you managed to make a friend in this-this-Heck hole! Even if it was just so you would look 'normal' I can't seem to make a friend to save my life. So excuse me if I'm a little bitter about that, ok?!" He then sighed and sat back down on the curve. "Oh, never mind, it's not like you understand something as-as stupid as not fitting in. You're an alien."

Zim stood, gaping, for a few seconds, his pak trying to catch up and process the sudden changes the Dib boy went through. Then blinked, and narrowed one eye cynically "Do not presume things you know nothing about, Dib-thing." Really, just because he was the best invader now didn't mean he wasn't still-well-extremely height challenged. Then he huffed. "Really, if you care so much about what those other pig smellies think, why do you not just pretend to be a normal worm baby and not speak about your paranatural Dib things?"

"Oh yeah, and let you take over the world without any resistance? Yeah, right."

"I am not speaking of the greatness that is ZIM!" Zim proclaimed. "I am talking about your other super-para science thingys"

Dib blinked, he seemed surprised that Zim hadn't taken the chance to try and convince him to stop chasing him. "Oh," Then he laughed, and flopped onto his back on the sidewalk. "I'm pretty sure 'normal' stopped being a possibility the moment I was born." He looked up at the sky and sighed. "Unfortunately normal's an unattainable dream, at least if I don't feel like using all my energy for that instead of on things I actually enjoy." The boy looked lost in thought, but oddly relieved, like he was grateful to be able to say this to anyone, even if it was his greatest enemy, "Truthfully I'm not sure if I could pull it off anyway. It's like they can smell that you're different. One wrong word or under or overenthusiastic reaction and you're labeled a freak. Something...not human." He started gesturing angrily with his arms, "And I hate it! Why am I the one who's labeled as not human! I am! Just because I can't follow all their stupid cues and unwritten rules doesn't mean I'm any less human than they are!"

Zim squinted, what was the Dib going on about now? "Rules? What rules? I have not heard of these rules?" How could he have missed something so important to his mission?

Dib waved his arm weakly, "Like. Like. Eye contact, you're supposed to make eye contact when you talk to people, not that anyone ever tells you that. You're just supposed to know."

The alien looked at the boy on the sidewalk, was the Dib joking? "But hyumans become uncomfortable under extended eye contact, like a squeal beast hiding in a burrow, I have done much research on the subject."

The boy laughed harshly. "Yeah, it's apparently a delicate balance. Stare too long and you're freakish. But don't make eye contact at all and you're considered rude at best." He frowned. "You'd think I would have figured out how to work the system by now, but I'm still just as confused as when I was five and first walked into a psychiatrist's office."

Zim glared at Dib, "The Dib beast went to a human brain doctor?" It was...annoying. That he didn't know that. "Why? And why didn't I know about this already?"

Dib sat up on his elbows, a confused look on his face. "Well, it didn't really seem an important thing to tell my enemy." He flopped back down. "Plus, it wasn't exactly a pleasant experience for me. There's a reason I don't trust the school counselors, Mr. Dwicky was just the most recent reason." he went quiet, apparently not going to continue.

Zim glared. He wanted to know this! The great Zim should know all about Dib! He wanted to know everything about him!

His pak buzzed.

For Invader purposes only, of course.

He growled. "Well?"

"Well what?" Dib asked, brows furrowed.

"TELL ZIM!"

Dib blinked. "Oh." He shrugged, "Uh, ok."

He frowned, trying to think of how to start. "My dad was...concerned by," read, being driven out of his mind by, "my obsession with the paranormal. At that time it was actually even more intense than it is now, of course, a five-year-old can't exactly understand why they should learn things they're not interested in at all. Or why only talking about one subject in excess might not be a good thing." He looked up at Zim with his eyes, as if to judge his reaction to his story so far, but the invader simply made a 'go on' gesture with his hand, so he kept talking. "Apparently the psychiatrist's were also concerned. And they noticed more than dad did. By the time I left I had an Autism diagnoses and an appointment to what they called therapy but what I call 'governmentally approved brainwashing.' They tried to make me act like everyone else. Even if it was just an act, or at the cost of my health. They didn't care, as long as I seemed normal on the outside."

He glared at the sky, "They weren't exactly nice about it either." He mumbled. "Sometimes I still have nightmares. They made me think that if I didn't act perfectly people could 'tell' that I wasn't 'normal' I, in my five-year-old paranormal obsessed brain, took that to mean they would think I wasn't human. I guess I was right about that." He murmured bitterly.

Zim stared at the Dib beast, shocked at what he heard. The hyuman brain doctors had tried to brainwash the Dib smeet and had failed! Perhaps not completely, but the big-headed child still certainly had his own brain thoughts squirming in that big big head of his, and still cared enough about his own brain self to not harm himself pretending for those idiot human worm babies. That was...commendable. Especially if the human brainwashing techniques were anything like Irken ones. He smiled. Well of course Zim's enemy would be the strongest! That was simply how things like this worked. Although...the Dib human didn't seem to think the same thing. Even going as far as to say he thought he didn't act like a stupid human pig smelly. Well, he would just have to set him straight.

He marched the few steps to lean over the human's form, then pointed a finger at the boy, "You listen Dib stink! You are most certainly a human pig smelly!"

Dib looked confused. "H-huh?" Was Zim...trying to encourage him?

Zim hissed. "You are a human pig smelly! And you are the human pig smelly that I the great ZIM has decided to be his enemy until one of us should perish at the other's hands! That means you are the best human pig smelly out of all the human pig smellies on this whole pig smelly planet!" He raised his head pompously "Do you understand Dib human?"

Dib blinked, eyes wide, mouth gaping. Zim...Zim was encouraging him! It wasn't exactly the most coherent encouragement but. . .

He smiled. "I-yeah. Yeah, I think I do." He chuckled. "Thanks, Zim."